Ugh
The official change to daylight-saving time occurs at 2 a.m. Sunday, so don't forget. Nobody wants to be late to his or her Sunday brunch.
All right, listen up, Daylight Saving Time, I'm calling you out.
Twice a year you completely mess up my sleeping patterns for at least two weeks -- doesn't matter which way the clock is moving, I'm messed up. You cause mass confusion on appointments and endless confirmations "don't forget to change your clock Saturday...". Bleah.
You are the direct cause of some of the most inane local TV news blather -- and not once a year like Groundhog Day. TWICE a year! TWICE! Argh!! Oh "spring ahead" and "fall back". Oooh, you're so cute. Shut up, DST!
Look, your heart was in the right place when this all started. You had the bright idea to move an hour of daylight from morning to evening -- magic! I've heard all kinds of stories, most of which I've decided are bullshit. I've heard stories about being able to bring the crops in since you need the extra light, that kids would have to walk to school in the dark, that we'd save loads of energy, that we'd lower the crime rate, that there would be fewer car accidents because it's light out and on and on and on.
It's bullshit! Fewer car accidents, really? Where's the data on that? Where's the data on how many car accidents are caused by people driving half asleep the next few days after the time change?
I've seen studies that show DST saves energy, but you know what? I've also seen studies that show it doesn't! And you know what else? If you want save energy, turn out the fucking lights and put on a sweater!
And when's the last time you've seen kids walking to school by themselves? Never! That's when!
And crops? How about you just set your alarm clock a little earlier, jackass? How hard was that?
Oh, and your company needs the extra daylight at certain times during the year? How about this: Start your work hours a little earlier/later? Wow, that was tough. That took me a whole 3 seconds to solve that problem. Sheez!
And, hey, how about everyone get together here? Who ever heard of letting every state decide what time it is? You know what? How about I decide what time it is in General Disarray's house? How about that? Yeah, it's 5 a.m. right now! I'm heading back to bed. How did that taste??
OK, so you now you want DOUBLE daylight saving time? OK, sounds good, but can we STICK WITH IT for a whole year??
Look, DST, I'm just not that into you. We need to change. We've got these fancy devices now that need to know once simple fact: WHAT TIME IT IS RIGHT NOW. Is that so hard??
It's time for it to end, DST. I haven't always enjoyed you, but thanks for being so reliable. Let's go our separate ways. It's over.